I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
