1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
