Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize