please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
