he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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