he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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