He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I want to fling myself into the sun
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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