Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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