see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
