Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
