C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
