I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
