thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize