Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
