if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
