Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
