but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
