Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
