i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You have to summon your inner elephant
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
