You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
