my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
