Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sober January is a disaster.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
