I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Randomize
