Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
