yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
