turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
