Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
