He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize