we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
