Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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