does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You may now shotgun with the bride
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize