I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize