So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
