Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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