Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
