Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize