is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
