yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
