I puked a lego.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
