Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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