i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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