I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
