Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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