Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize