Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize