It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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