when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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