i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize