So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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