I bet he comes in French.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
ttyl tear gas
It's official drugs can't kill me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
