You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
