You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
