After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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