its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
