I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
