I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
