He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
