Christians are straight up FREAKS
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
