She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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