Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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