How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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