she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
whose parrot is this?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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