Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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