Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
now i know why i became what i already was.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
bring money and cleavage
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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