Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Randomize
