hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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