I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
